How Setting Aside a Short Worry Time Can Help You Calm Down

This tool is called a “worry time.” And no, it’s not about adding more stuff to your to-do list. It’s about taking control of when you let yourself worry, so the rest of your day isn’t eaten up by anxious thoughts. Think of it like a scheduled appointment. You pick a short window—maybe fifteen minutes—and during that time, you let yourself worry as much as you want. Write it down, think it through, get it out. Then, when the time is up, you’re done. The worry has to wait until tomorrow’s appointment.

Why does this help? Because most of the time, we worry at the worst possible moments. Right before falling asleep. During a class or a meeting. When we’re trying to enjoy dinner with friends. That’s like trying to put out a fire while someone keeps adding more fuel. By setting aside a specific worry time, you train your brain to save those anxious thoughts for later. It’s like telling your mind, “Hey, I hear you, but you’re going to have to stand in line like everyone else.”

Here’s how you can start. First, pick a time of day that works for you. Maybe right after school or work, or maybe in the early evening. Don’t pick a time too close to bedtime, because that can keep you awake. Keep it short—15 to 20 minutes max. You don’t want to spend your whole day worrying, even if it’s scheduled. Next, find a quiet spot where you can be alone. Sit down with a notebook or a piece of paper, or even just your phone’s notes app. Set a timer.

Now, during your worry time, let it all out. Write down every single thing that’s bugging you. Big things, like a fight with a friend. Small things, like being scared of a dentist appointment. Random things, like worrying about the weather ruining your weekend plans. Don’t try to solve anything yet. Just get those worries out of your head and onto paper. If you want, you can also think about them more deeply. Ask yourself, “What exactly am I afraid of?” or “What’s the worst that could happen?” Sometimes just seeing the worry written down makes it look less scary.

When the timer goes off, you stop. Close the notebook. Put the paper in a drawer. Tell yourself, “That’s it for today. If I start worrying again, I’ll save it for tomorrow’s worry time.” And here’s the important part: you have to stick to it. If a worry pops into your head at 2 p.m. and it’s not time yet, just say to yourself, “I’ll deal with you at 5 p.m.” Don’t fight the worry—just postpone it. Over time, your brain learns that you will actually get to those worries later. That takes the pressure off. You stop feeling like you have to solve everything right now.

One thing that can trip people up is thinking they’ll forget their worries if they don’t act on them immediately. But you won’t. When it’s your worry time, you’ll remember. And if you do forget, that probably means the worry wasn’t that important anyway. Another common problem is using worry time to actually problem-solve. That’s fine, but the main goal is just to let the worry exist without letting it control you. You don’t have to fix everything. Sometimes just saying, “I’m worried about this, and that’s okay” is enough.

After a few days of practicing worry time, you might notice something. The list of worries starts to shrink. Or you realize that a lot of the things you were afraid of never actually happened. You might even find that you don’t need the full 15 minutes. That’s a win. It means your brain is getting better at letting go of useless worrying.

So the next time your mind starts spinning with worst-case scenarios, remember that you don’t have to be a passenger on that ride. You can say, “Not now, worry. I’ve got an appointment for you later.” And then go back to whatever you were doing. It’s a simple tool, but it gives you back some control. And when you’re feeling anxious, control is exactly what you need.