Loading...

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed by a Big Move

Tools for When You Feel Anxious
All Articles
So you’re getting ready to move to a new place. Maybe it’s across town, maybe it’s across the country. Either way, your brain is probably screaming, “This is WAY too much!” And you’re right. A big move is a huge problem. It’s full of packing boxes, changing addresses, saying goodbyes, and figuring out where the heck the forks went. No wonder you feel anxious. Your mind is trying to hold the whole thing at once, and that’s like trying to swallow a whole pizza in one bite. It hurts. But here’s the trick that actually works: you break that giant pizza into tiny little slices. You stop trying to eat the whole move at once. You take it one small step at a time.

Let me walk you through how to do that. Because I’ve been there. I had to move last year, and for two weeks straight I woke up with my stomach in knots. I kept thinking about all the things I had to do—pack the kitchen, pack the bedroom, call the utility company, clean the old place, get the boxes, find a moving truck… It was like a tornado of to-dos inside my head. The anxiety was real. Then I sat down with a notebook and a pen, and I did the dumbest, simplest thing. I wrote down just one thing I could do that day. Not the whole list. One thing.

That one thing was: “Find five boxes.” That’s it. Five boxes. I looked in the garage, found some old ones, and checked it off. The next day I wrote: “Pack the books I never read.” I did that in twenty minutes. The day after that I wrote: “Call the internet company to schedule a transfer.” That took ten minutes on hold, but then it was done. Each day I just picked one very small step. After a week, I had done seven small things. And the huge scary move? It started looking like a bunch of little jobs that I could actually handle.

Here’s the science behind why this works, but I’ll say it plain: your brain gets scared when it sees a mountain. A mountain is too big to climb in one go. But when you look at just one rock on that mountain, and you pick it up, your brain says, “Oh, I can do that.” And then you pick up the next rock. Before you know it, you’ve climbed the whole mountain, but you never actually thought about the mountain. You just thought about the rocks.

So let’s make this super practical. You’re moving. The big problem is the whole move. The small steps are everything you can split it into. Start with one room. Not the whole house. One room. For example, the bedroom. Now don’t think about the whole bedroom. Think about just the closet. Now don’t think about the whole closet. Think about just the T-shirts. Now your step is: “Pull out the T-shirts and put them in a bag.” That’s it. That’s not scary. That’s a five-minute job. After you do that, take a break. Then do the next small thing: “Pull out the jeans.” See? You’re making progress without the panic.

Another example: paperwork. Changing your address with the post office, the bank, the DMV—that’s a big cloud of confusion. Break it into steps. Step one: Google “USPS change of address.” Step two: fill out the online form. That’s two small clicks. Step three: write down that you did it. Then move to the bank. One step at a time. You don’t have to do all the paperwork in one afternoon. Give yourself a whole week. Do one thing each day.

The most important part is this: do not let yourself think about what’s coming after this step. When you’re packing the T-shirts, do not think about the kitchen. The kitchen is tomorrow’s problem. Today’s problem is T-shirts. That’s it. If your brain tries to jump ahead, gently pull it back. Say to yourself, “Nope, not now. Right now I’m just doing T-shirts.” You’ll feel the anxiety drop because your brain can only handle one small task at a time. So give it one.

I promise, by the time you’ve packed the T-shirts, the jeans, the socks, and the sweaters, you’ll realize you’ve packed half the closet without breaking a sweat. And that’s the whole point. Big problems aren’t really big. They’re just a bunch of tiny problems stacked together. Your job is to unstack them, one tiny piece at a time. You don’t have to be brave. You don’t have to be super organized. You just have to be willing to start with the very next small thing in front of you.

So if you’re feeling anxious about a big move—or any big problem—grab a notebook. Write down one tiny step. Do it. Then write down the next. That’s it. That’s how you lower the anxiety. That’s how you get through it. One T-shirt at a time.

Related Articles

Learn more about Tools for When You Feel Anxious.

All Articles

Breaking Down Big Problems into Smaller Steps to Reduce Anxiety

You know that feeling when you look at something you have to do, and your stomach twists into a knot?
Learn More

How to Start a Screen Break Without the Fear of Missing Out

The impulse to check our devices is a modern reflex, born from a potent cocktail of social connection, information access, and algorithmic persuasion.
Learn More

How to Use Your Worry Time to Actually Feel Better

You know that feeling when your brain won’t shut up about something you’re stressed about?
Learn More

Quick Tips

How does this help with overwhelming feelings of worry?

This method is a powerful tool against worry because worry is often just a loop of “what if” thoughts with no action. Breaking a problem into steps forces your brain to switch from its emotional, fearful gear into its calm, planning gear. You stop thinking about everything that could go wrong and start focusing on what you can actually do. Each small step you complete is proof that you are handling the situation, which directly counters the helpless feeling that worry creates. It gives your mind a job to do instead of letting it spin.

What’s the very first thing I should do when a problem feels too big?

The absolute first step is to grab a piece of paper and just write the big problem down at the top. Seeing it on paper gets it out of your swirling thoughts. Then, without judging or overthinking, start asking one simple question: “What is the very first, tiniest thing I would need to do?“ It might be “Look up a phone number,“ “Send one email,“ or “Clean off my desk.“ Don’t plan the whole thing out. Just find that one, small starting point. Taking that first tiny action is like turning on a light in a dark room.

Why does breaking a big problem down make me feel less anxious right away?

It works because it shifts your brain’s focus from a scary, impossible-feeling monster to a simple, clear to-do list. When you only see the huge problem, your mind races with all the things that could go wrong, which triggers anxiety. But when you write down one small, first step, your brain says, “Oh, I can do that.“ This gives you a quick win and a sense of control. That feeling of being in charge is the exact opposite of feeling anxious and helpless, which immediately calms your nerves.

What if I get stuck on one of the smaller steps?

First, be kind to yourself—this happens to everyone! It just means that step wasn’t quite small enough. Ask yourself, “What’s the one thing blocking me?“ and then break that single step into two or three even tinier actions. If your step was “Write the report introduction” and you’re stuck, your new steps could be: “1. Open a new document. 2. Write three possible titles. 3. Write one sentence about what the report is for.“ By making the tasks ridiculously easy, you bypass the feeling of being stuck and keep moving forward.

How do I know if my steps are small enough?

A step is small enough if the thought of doing it doesn’t make you feel tense or want to avoid it. If looking at a step still makes you feel nervous or stuck, it needs to be broken down even more. For example, “Clean the kitchen” is too big and vague. “Wash the dishes in the sink” is better. But if that still feels like too much, the perfect small step is “Wash just the cups.“ A good step feels almost too easy, which is the point! You want to build momentum with easy wins, not struggle with each task.