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How to Train Your Brain to Worry Less

Changing Your Thinking Habits
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Do you ever feel like your brain gets stuck on a worry, playing the same scary thought over and over like a song you can’t get out of your head? It happens to everyone. The good news is that you can actually teach your brain new habits, kind of like training a puppy. It just takes a little practice.

Think about a path through a grassy field. The first time you walk it, the grass is tall and it’s hard to get through. But the more you walk the exact same path, the flatter the grass gets, until you have a clear, easy trail. Your thoughts work the same way. When you always think the worst-case scenario, like “I’m going to fail this test” or “Everyone is going to laugh at me,“ you are wearing a deep path in your brain. It becomes the automatic, easy route for your thoughts to travel.

The trick to feeling less anxious is to start making new paths. This doesn’t mean you’re supposed to just “think happy thoughts.“ That never works. Instead, it’s about learning to spot the old, worry-path when your brain starts to go down it, and then gently guiding it in a slightly different direction.

Let’s say your brain’s worry-path is, “My friend didn’t text me back. They must be mad at me.“ That’s the deep, familiar trail. Instead of staying on that path, you can ask your brain a simple question: “What’s another reason they might not have texted back?“ Maybe their phone died. Maybe they got busy with homework. Maybe they’re just taking a nap. You aren’t lying to yourself or pretending you’re not worried. You are simply showing your brain that there is more than one path through the field. You are proving that the first, scary path isn’t the only one.

Doing this feels weird at first, like trying to walk through the tall grass. It’s easier to just slide down the old, familiar worry-path. But if you keep doing it, the new path—the one where you look for other explanations—will get flatter and easier to walk on. Soon, it might even become your brain’s new favorite route.

This isn’t a magic trick that makes all your worries disappear overnight. Some days will be easier than others. But every single time you notice a worried thought and try to find another way to see the situation, you are doing important work. You are the one in charge, gently training your brain to take a calmer, quieter path, one thought at a time.

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Quick Tips

What is a thinking habit, anyway?

A thinking habit is like a path your thoughts automatically take. For example, if you often think, “I’m going to mess this up,“ before a test, that’s a habit. Your brain has taken that path so many times it’s now the easiest one to travel. The good news is you can build new paths, like thinking, “I’m prepared, and I’ll do my best.“ It takes practice, but soon this new, kinder path becomes the automatic one, helping you feel more confident and less worried.

How can I change a habit I don’t even notice?

Start by becoming a friendly detective of your own thoughts. For a few days, just notice what you’re thinking when you start to feel anxious. You don’t have to judge it or change it yet. You might notice a pattern, like always expecting the worst in social situations. Once you spot these patterns, you’ve shined a light on them. Now you know exactly which thinking habit you can start to work on, which is the first and most important step toward making a change.

What’s a simple way to challenge a worried thought?

Treat your worried thought like a guess, not a fact. Ask yourself two simple questions: First, “What’s another way to see this situation?“ If you think a friend is mad at you, maybe they are just having a busy day. Second, “What’s the most likely thing that will happen?“ The worst-case scenario your anxiety shows you is almost never the most probable one. This practice helps you see the situation more realistically, which almost always feels less scary.

How long does it take to really change my thinking?

Be patient with yourself! Building a new thinking habit is like getting better at a sport or learning an instrument. You wouldn’t expect to be a pro after one day of practice. It might take a few weeks of consistently noticing your old thoughts and trying out new ones before the new way starts to feel more natural. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Every time you successfully challenge a worried thought, you are strengthening your new mental muscle and it will get a little bit easier over time.

Why is it so hard to stop negative thoughts?

Telling yourself “stop thinking that!“ doesn’t work well because your brain focuses on the very thing you’re trying to avoid—like being told not to picture a pink elephant. It’s more effective to notice the thought without fighting it. Say to yourself, “Okay, I’m having the thought that this will go badly.“ Then, gently shift your focus to what you’re doing right now, like feeling your feet on the floor or listing three things you can see. This helps the thought lose its power and float away like a cloud.