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The Phone Call Experiment: How to Test Your Fear

Changing Your Thinking Habits
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Let me tell you about a fear I had for years. I hated making phone calls. Even calling to order a pizza made my stomach flip. I would stare at the number, think about what to say, and then hang up before it rang. Sound familiar? Maybe your fear is different. Maybe you are scared of talking in a group, or asking a store employee a question, or walking into a room full of people. No matter what your fear is, there is a simple trick that actually works. It is called testing your fear with small experiments.

The idea is pretty easy. Instead of trying to talk yourself out of being scared, you just do a tiny version of the thing you are afraid of. You treat it like a science experiment. You are the scientist, and your fear is the thing you are studying. You do not have to get rid of the fear all at once. You just have to test it out a little bit and see what happens.

Here is how I tested my phone call fear. First, I came up with a very small, easy experiment. I decided I would call a store and ask what time they close. That is it. Just one short question. I did not have to order anything. I did not have to have a long conversation. If the person asked me anything else, I could just say thank you and hang up. I wrote down what I was afraid would happen. I thought, “I will stumble over my words and sound stupid.“ That was my prediction.

Then I did it. I picked up the phone and called. The person answered, I asked my question, they said “We close at nine,“ and I said “Thanks” and hung up. It took less than thirty seconds. And you know what? I did stumble a little bit. But the person did not care. They did not laugh. They did not say “Wow, you sound nervous.“ Nothing bad happened. My prediction was wrong.

That is the whole point of these experiments. Your brain is really good at making up scary stories about what will happen. But when you actually test the story, you usually find out it is not true. Each time you test a small fear, you teach your brain that the scary thing is not as dangerous as it thinks. Over time, your brain starts to relax.

Now, you can try this with almost any fear. Pick one small thing that makes you anxious. Make sure it is tiny. If you are scared of public speaking, do not sign up to give a big speech. Instead, stand up and say one sentence in a meeting. If you are scared of being in crowds, do not go to a concert. Just walk into a busy grocery store for two minutes. If you are scared of asking for help, ask a stranger what time it is. That is it.

Before you do your experiment, write down what you think will happen. Be honest. Write the worst thing you imagine. Then go do the experiment. Afterward, write down what really happened. Compare the two. Most of the time, reality is way less scary than your imagination. Even if something a little awkward happens, it is usually not the disaster you expected. And even if it does go badly, you will survive. You will learn that you can handle it.

One thing to know: your anxiety might still be there the first few times. That is okay. The goal is not to make the fear disappear instantly. The goal is to show your brain that the fear is not in charge. Every time you do a small experiment, you are proving to yourself that you can do hard things. That feeling of power grows.

I have done many of these experiments now. I still get a little nervous before a phone call, but I do it anyway. The fear does not stop me anymore. And I learned that by starting small. You can too. Pick one fear, make a tiny plan, and test it out. You might be surprised how much your brain learns when you give it real proof instead of scary stories.

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Quick Tips

How do I stay motivated to keep doing these experiments?

Don’t just focus on the big, end goal. Celebrate every single tiny win! Tell yourself, “I did it!“ after each experiment, no matter how small. Keep a simple list and check them off; it feels great to see your progress. Also, be kind to yourself. Some days will be easier than others. If you skip an experiment, that’s okay. Just gently try again tomorrow with the same small step or an even easier one. This is a journey of small steps, not a race.

What if my experiment goes wrong and my fear comes true?

This is a really important question. First, you plan your experiment to be so small that even if it “fails,“ it’s not a disaster. But if it does go differently than you hoped, you don’t fail—you learn. Ask yourself: “Was it as bad as I imagined? Did I survive it? What would I do differently next time?“ Often, you’ll find that the reality wasn’t nearly as terrifying as the fear in your head. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s to collect information and see that you can handle small bumps.

How do I know what small step to take first?

Think about your fear and break it down into the smallest possible piece. If you’re afraid of social situations, your first experiment shouldn’t be going to a huge party. Maybe it’s just making eye contact and smiling at the cashier. If you fear failing, don’t try to build a whole business. Just share a simple idea with a friend. The goal is to pick a step so small that you think, “Okay, I can probably handle that.“ If it still feels too big, break it down into something even smaller.

What is a small experiment, and why is it better than just “facing your fear”?

A small experiment is a tiny, safe step you take to test a worry. Instead of jumping into the deep end and giving a big speech, you might just raise your hand to ask a one-sentence question in a meeting. This works better because it feels manageable. You’re not trying to be brave all at once. You’re just being a detective, gathering a little evidence to see if your fear is really true. It’s like dipping a toe in the water before you swim, which feels a lot less scary.

I feel silly doing such tiny things. Will this really make a difference?

It absolutely makes a difference! Think of it like a muscle. You can’t start by lifting heavy weights. You have to start with light ones. Each small experiment is like one rep at the gym for your courage muscle. Every time you do a small, brave thing, you send a message to your brain: “I can handle this.“ Over time, these tiny wins add up. The confidence you build from smiling at a stranger can be the foundation for eventually starting a conversation.