Try This Small Experiment to Stop Worrying What Others Think

Let me give you a specific example. Maybe you’re scared that if you say something dumb in a group, everyone will remember it forever and judge you. That’s a heavy fear. It keeps you quiet and small. But how do you actually know that’s true? You don’t. Nobody has ever handed you a report card that says, “Jimmy thought you were awkward at 2:15 yesterday.“ So the only way to find out is to test it. Not by reading a book about it. Not by overthinking it for three hours in bed. By doing one small thing.

Here’s an experiment you can try this week. Pick something tiny that you’re normally afraid to do because of what others might think. Maybe it’s wearing a hat that’s a little different, or humming a song under your breath in the grocery store, or asking a cashier a question even though you already know the answer. I want you to do that thing on purpose. Just once. And then, instead of guessing how people reacted, look at what actually happened.

Let’s say you decide to wear mismatched socks to school or work. One blue, one green. That’s it. The whole day you might feel like a spotlight is on your feet. Your brain will scream, “Everyone is looking! They think you’re a mess!“ But here’s the experiment part: you have to actually look at people. Do they point and laugh? Do they even glance down? Usually, they don’t. Maybe one person notices and says, “Hey, cool socks.“ That’s it. Nobody loses their mind. Nobody calls the fashion police. Your brain’s prediction—that people would mock you or that you’d feel humiliated—turns out to be a total bluff.

The reason this works is that your anxiety runs on habits. It has a script it follows every time you face something scary. The script says, “If I do X, then Y bad thing will happen.“ But that script was written by your fear, not by reality. Doing a small experiment is like picking up the script and saying, “Let me check the facts.“ You become a scientist of your own life. And every time the bad thing doesn’t happen, your brain slowly rewrites the script.

I had a friend who was terrified of talking on the phone. She thought people would hear her voice shake and think she was weak. So I dared her to call a pizza place and ask for their hours, even though she already knew them. She did it. Her voice was a little shaky. The person on the other end just said, “We’re open till ten.“ That was it. No judgment. No humiliation. Her fear lost a little bit of power that day. And the next time she had to make a call, it was just a tiny bit easier.

You can do this with almost any fear. Afraid of rejection? Ask someone for a silly favor, like “Can I borrow a pen?“ and see if they say yes. Most people will. Afraid people think you’re boring? Next time you’re with a friend, say something goofy or tell a short, lame joke. See if they laugh or if they look at you like you’re crazy. They’ll probably laugh, or at least not care. The point isn’t to become a comedian. It’s to gather evidence that your worst-case scenario is almost never the real one.

Start with something so small that it feels almost silly. That’s fine. Silly is safe. Maybe it’s making eye contact with one person and smiling for two seconds. Maybe it’s saying “hello” to a neighbor you usually ignore. Maybe it’s walking into a store and not checking your phone to look busy. Do it, then notice your feelings. The first time, your heart will race. That’s okay. That’s the fear habit kicking. But after you do it, notice how the feeling fades. Notice that the world didn’t end. Notice that you’re still standing.

Each small experiment is like a little brick you lay down to build a new habit of thinking. Over time, your brain stops assuming the worst. It starts to trust that you can handle things. That other people aren’t out to get you. That being a little awkward or different is not a disaster.

So pick one fear right now. Maybe it’s wearing that pink shirt you’re scared to wear. Maybe it’s raising your hand in a meeting. Maybe it’s just sitting in a quiet room without filling the silence with your phone. Give yourself permission to try it tomorrow. No big speeches. No huge leaps. Just one tiny test. And when nothing bad happens, you’ll have real proof that your anxiety was lying. Hold onto that proof. Use it to test the next fear, and the next. That’s how you stop worrying about what others think. Not by trying to control their thoughts, but by realizing their thoughts were never the problem in the first place.